First dates are exciting but can also be tricky: you usually do not know the person too well and don’t always know what to expect. To help you avoid awkward situations and multiply chances of a couple other dates (and more), here are some essential dos and don’ts to keep in mind.
1.Before your date, do a little soul searching. Be honest about what kind of a partner you are looking for and what kind of partner you can be.
2.Choose the place wisely, if she didn’t mention any particular place she wanted to go to. Meet up somewhere nice, preferably where you can talk. Taking a girl to a new (to her), unusual spot shows you know your way around town.
3.Dress up. 99% of the time, a girl will put some effort into her looks before a date and it is expecting you to do the same. This means looking clean and fresh.
4.Be on time. Being late on a date can give a really bad first impression, especially if you do not know each other too well yet. If you have a real excuse for being late, let your date know asap. The same should be expected of her.
5.Be nice and pleasant. Really. A date is not the moment to talk about your bad day at work or other issues. Take this time to enjoy yourself and forget about the rest.
6.Be authentic and real. You are asking (and anticipating) honesty and some level of transparency from your date, to which you should offer the same. This does not, however, mean you must share your darkest secrets.
7.Maintain your information boundaries. Even though your long-term goal may be to establish a “we,” you must remember you are still an “I.” On the first date, you don’t want to be an “open book.” Save your personal information for later when the foundations of trust and intimacy have been established.
8.Be calm, not overly emotional or dramatic. While it’s healthy to emote, over-dramatization can be viewed as a turn-off. More often than not, keeping yourself relaxed will put your date at ease as well and open the door for a more open and honest discussion.
9.Reveal your strengths, not your weaknesses. People want to see what’s good about a potential partner, so make sure you do yourself justice. It’s okay to sell your positives, so long as you don’t seem boastful.
10.Be polite and considerate. Nothing kills a date faster than rudeness. Remember, if you’re expecting your date to conduct themselves in a certain manner, you should exhibit that same behavior in return
1.Do not talk about your ex(es). It is best not to resurrect the wrongs of your past relationships because you can inadvertently reflect light on possible previous mistakes. Besides, you are looking to move forward, not back.
2.Talk only about yourself. While we have no doubt your life is fascinating, show your date some consideration and ask her about herself. Also, showing interest in another person is a great seduction technique.
3.Set out your expectations for the date too soon. Whether you’re looking for a serious relationship or a simple hook up, don’t immediately jump into the subject. Ask her instead. Conversely, don’t promise eternal love if you can’t deliver.
4.Don’t mention your finances. You want your date to get to know your personality, beliefs and values, and in turn, find attractiveness in them, not your income earning potential.
5.Do not discuss sexual practices or experiences with past loves. A first date is not the appropriate time to discuss these topics. This is something that should be broached as the relationship progresses and you find yourself ready to be intimate.
6.Don’t talk about how miserable and lonely you are. That is a huge turn-off and should be kept between you and your therapist or trusted friend. You also run the risk of appearing “desperate” or “looking for a relationship for the wrong reasons.”
Do: Take charge of your first date by presenting yourself as a desirable person. Share what is good and positive about you and your life and be open to learning all you can about your date.
Don’t: Do not attend a first date as a “victim”… of a bad marriage, a painful childhood, financial problems or ill health.